I'm sorry if that seems selfish, but it's me, me, me.
You've only ever used the cooker to light your fags off.
There we are. Not completely useless, you see.
What do you want? Champagne?
Yes. Anything that will blur reality.
How can there be so much pain, but not a single mark?
You had fun. Who gives a shit, darling?
They don't have a nobody-can-be-a-boring-old-fart day.